So Let’s Talk About: The Asexual Spectrum

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There’s some personal life discussion in this post, so please be mindful and kind.

I was talking with my friend Kurtlan last time we met up in Boston, and we were talking about sexualities, specifically when I was talking about when I realized I was asexual and trying to explain that to others. I kept using this “no I never” explanation, and he was like you should write that down. So here I am. Writing it down. This is a hard and easy subject to talk about for me. Now that I know where I’m at in life, I don’t really care what other people think, but there’s still a lot of messy middle ground in the LGBT+ community about who belongs in that community. All the LGBT+ people I’ve talked to say I belong in the community, but I know a lot of people do not feel that way, especially about heteroromantic aces whiiiiich I’ll get into. And then of course there’s the general heterosexual population who are probably all ????? about it. I ‘came out’ so to speak for the first time with three of my good friends there supporting me at an asexuality meeting. It was the first time I said the words that I’d already kind of known for a long time, but I’ll admit there’s still some trepidation I’m feeling right now, so there you go, that whole hard and easy subject issue.

Keep in mind all of this is personal opinion and it’s also personal experience. Here’s some examples of No I’ve Nevers/Don’ts and Yes I Haves/Cans. I’m going to make some statements and explain a little more afterward.

No I’ve never wanted to have sex with anyone. No I’ve never experienced romantic or sexual attraction in the way other people have. No I’ve never wanted to be in a relationship. Yes I have been in romantic or sexual relationships with people. Yes I have been confused about why I didn’t feel the way other people did. Yes I have studied up and I am positive this is not about low drive or personal past issues. Yes I can still enjoy watching romances in media and get invested in ships. No I don’t feel like there’s something missing in my life. No I don’t get lonely. No I don’t get worried about the future or lacking anything. Yes I can be very happy with my platonic relationships for the rest of my life. Yes I can be scared or uncomfortable explaining this to people because it’s really hard for others to understand.

I spent a lot of my life certain about something, but ignoring it for the sake of “normalcy.” I knew from early on that I didn’t feel about people the way others did. I didn’t want to date, I didn’t want to be romantic with anyone, but I knew that was what others did and it was normal. I did try it out with some people, and it wasn’t bad. They were all very nice! And anyone would be lucky to date them on the whole. But a lot of it was about me trying to fit in rather than coming from my heart. I knew that I dreaded physical contact to the point of zoning out when it was happening. I wanted to make them happy enough to continue what was going on, but never really got satisfaction out of it myself. And in retrospect that was hardly fair to them. They thought they were in a relationship or at least in a situation two people were invested in, and it wasn’t the truth. I only realized I had to stop pretending I wanted a relationship when I saw that by not being into someone, and them knowing it, I was hurting their self-esteem. So I stopped, and by doing that, lost the feeling of repressed expectations hovering over me. It was so much of a relief that I cried.

It’s still kind of hard to talk about asexuality, but I’ll try. Asexuality is the absence of sexual interest in other people. It’s not the same as celibacy, which is a choice to abstain from sex. Asexuals do not feel the drive to have sex. Some asexuals choose to have sex though, some choose to be in relationships and find contentment in them, it’s not that we’re incapable of it. Or that the physical aspect is awful. It’s about desire and want and need, and how that applies to other people from an ace perspective. The gray spectrum also includes demisexuals, which tend to be people who only get attracted to someone after they are emotionally and romantically interested. Which a lot of people say ‘well isn’t everyone that doesn’t sleep around that way’ and the answer is no, not really. Because if you look at attractive people generally, with no interest in pursuing them, and go ‘wow they’re hot/sexually attractive,’ you probably aren’t demi. Asexuals can be romantic however. They can crave emotional and romantic relationships from other people, and sometimes that means accepting sex and finding a perfect balance where everyone’s happy, and sometimes it’s with other aces who don’t care about that piece. It really depends on the person and what they’re comfortable with. And like all sexuality that’s on a spectrum, you can change on it over the course of your life. The image above does a better job explaining things than me.

I’m what people call Aromantic Asexual. Aro ace, in shorthand. It means that I have no romantic interest in anyone either, I don’t want relationships of any kind. I find all the happiness and satisfaction I need out of close friendships and family. I’ve heard people say it must be a lot easier to not have to worry about the stress of relationships, and you know what, it is. But that’s what I want, and other people should live the way they want. Asexuals are not really given a lot of space in communities. I mentioned before that there’s a torn feeling in the LGBT+ community about them. I feel like it’s a lot easier for people to understand sexualities when sex is involved, rather than someone who doesn’t want what feels like a key part of humanity. So sayeth the society we live in, but that we all have in our heads, brainwashed and pushed into there. I feel connected to the LGBT+ community and since I’ve had my own versions of ‘coming out’ and push back on ‘being confused’ or ‘not finding the right person yet,’ it kind of feels similar. Hopefully one day I will not have such hesitancy in identifying myself as part of the community, because it feels like one of the places that will really understand why I tried to be ‘normal’ so long to the point of misery and depression. I’m also just generally nervous talking about it, so writing this was difficult, and posting it publicly.

Sometimes I’m still not sure what to say to people. If they ask if I’m dating someone, I can say no and I’m not looking. If someone asks me out I can say something like that. Sometimes I awkwardly go “I don’t like guys” and they’re like oh so you’re into women and I go “…no not women either.” It’s complicated. I am not straight, but I am not gay either. I’m just me, I guess, whatever that entails.

If you are interested in learning more about asexuality you can go to the AVEN website.

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Comments

  1. Хочу рассказать именно о том времени, когда меня преследовало сильное желание изменить в отместку, фактически это было навязчивой идеей, так я думала, что это сможет заглушить немного мою душевную боль. Мне изменял мой любимый человек, который каждый день клялся мне в любви, говорил что любит, но вёл тайную жизнь в соц.сетях. Нам было по 28 лет, он завёл интрижку в соц.сети, селиконовая шлюшка
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НовосибирскПогода Новосибирск, в принципе, не балует – средняя температура самого теплого месяца в году здесь составляет +19 градусов, но при этом не повергает в шок и средняя температура зимних месяцев – она всего где-то -16…-18 градусов, однако были зафиксированы и куда более сильные морозы, доходящие до 45-50 градусной отметки ниже нуля. Новосибирск Гостиницы и отели Новосибирска Один из крупнейших городов России богат на разного рода отели и гостиницы. В арсенале Новосибирска насчитывается порядка 180 мест временного пребывания туристов и бизнесменов. Наиболее престижные гостиницы оцениваются в 4* и имеют массу положительных отзывов путешественников. Причем, при всем внешнем великолепии этих зданий, их внутренняя, так сказать, сущность также представляет немалый интерес. Так, например, постановки новосибирских театров не редко конкурируют по значимости с московскими или петербургскими театральными событиями. В краеведческом музее собрана богатая коллекция экспонатов, которые представляют собой историю города и природный мир его окрестностей. Новосибирск новосибирск, достопримечательности, лечение, бальнеологический курорт, санатории Кстати, для того чтобы наблюдать местную и не только флору и фауну стоит посетить Новосибирский ботанический сад и Заельцовский заповедник, где находится зоопарк Новосибирска, претендующий на звание одного из самых крупных в стране. В круглогодичном доступе в Новосибирской области находятся многочисленные лечебные источники и построенные около них бальнеологические курорты и грязелечебницы, которые образуют вокруг города лечебно-профилактическое «кольцо здоровья». Покупки и сувениры. Что купить? новосибирск, сувениры, кедр, шишки, кедровые орешки Кстати, в Новосибирске целых шесть функционирующих мостов и седьмой должен быть достроен в 2014 году. Новосибирск – уникальный город. Он – дитя счастливо сложившихся обстоятельств и творческого порыва множества людей. Тут никто не восклицал над пустошью «Граду быть!», тут некому сидеть на бронзовом коне, простирая над потомками градоучредительную десницу. Рождение Новосибирска было актом коллективным и пришлось на удивительную эпоху – рациональную и вдохновенную одновременно.проститутки новосибирска пожилые с телефонами Буквально за год стало ясно, что поселок перерос свой статус временной хозяйственной площадки, в нем закипела разнообразная деловая жизнь – и сопряженная со строительством, и вполне уже автономная. Репортеры Императорского географического общества с интересом и удивлением созерцали этот бум. В 1903-м, когда поселок обрел статус города, население его составляло 26 тысяч человек. 11 декабря 1908 года новониколаевцам было разрешено утверждать городскую управу и выбирать Городскую думу – город получил права полного городового положения. Фортуна и Меркурий благоволили юному городу: он стоял не просто на реке и магистрали, а еще и на потоке тогдашнего стратегического товара – муки. Мукомольное дело и сопряженные с ним работы составляли 70 % городской экономики. Новосибирсксуществовали различные кустарные производства (канатно-верёвочное, кошемное, салотопенное, экипажное, шорное, мыловаренное, кожевенное). Ново-Николаевск обслуживался пятью коммерческими и двумя земельными банками, казначейством и торгово-промышленным «Обществом взаимного кредита». НовосибирскА на углах магистральных улиц в самых выгодных ракурсах расположились двенадцать красавиц школ, спроектированных в едином стиле молодым архитектором Андреем Крячковым – похожих друг на друга, но не одинаковых. В 1913 году г. Ново-Николаевск стал одним из первых городов империи, где Городской думой утвержден план «введения всеобщего обучения в городе». И получали его в школах «крячковской дюжины». на церковной земле, было в тогдашнем Ново-Николаевске, пожалуй, самым большим и современным учебным заведением – с просторными классами, с тематическими кабинетами, спортзалом и даже собственной обсерваторией.Обителью юного и наивного новониколаевского шоу-бизнеса была Базарная площадь. Там царили так называемые низкие жанры – престидижитация, балаган и синематограф. Возле того места, где сейчас стоит Оперный театр, располагался “Первый электротеатр Ф.Ф. Махотина”, открытый в 1908 г. (несколькими годами позже в городе были открыты еще два кинотеатра: “Гигант” и “Диана”). В городе строились: заводы «Сибкомбайн», горного оборудования, станкостроительный, расточных станков, оловозавод и т. д. Для строительства нового общества нужны были новые кадры: Новосибирск быстро становится еще и студенческим городом: в 1930-е годы здесь открылись 8 вузов и 10 техникумов. Градостроители 1920-х в равной мере уважали и утопистов эпохи Возрождения, и футуристические концепции своей поры. Потому в СССР создавалось сразу несколько городов-садов, «солнечных городов». Самым активным конкурентом Новосибирска в этом деле был Сталинград – город, тогда во многом похожий на Новосибирск масштабом и поворотами судьбы. Переделка театра в новом вкусе надолго затянула его пуск – до сентября 1941, а война отодвинула этот день еще на четыре года. В строй действующих театр вступил в триумфальном 1945-м. В послевоенном СССР Новосибирский театр оперы и балета был, пожалуй, самым знаменитым театральным зданием, деля этот статус с московским Театром Красной Армии. НовосибирскСтоль же радикально эвакуационный бум поменял и демографию Новосибирска – приехавшие в эвакуационных эшелонах москвичи и ленинградцы привезли с собой новый жизненный уклад, новые художественные вкусы. Зрительской влюбленностью в классическое искусство – в балет, в оперу, в симфоническую музыку – а также последующими успехами в этих сферах – всем этим Новосибирск обязан «ленинградской волне» военной поры. Зимой по всему городу заливают бесплатные катки, которые работают до позднего вечера. Здоровый румянец добавляет привлекательности, а физическая активность на свежем воздухе способствует отличному настроению! После катания особенно приятно отогреваться в ближайших кафе традиционным сбитнем. Новосибирск Однако не все согласятся, что найти близкого человека в большом городе очень просто. Не знаете, с чего начать поиск знакомств в Новосибирске? Редакция eDarling предлагает вам несколько беспроигрышных вариантов.Секс знакомства в Новосибирске, поиск партнеров для встреч и общения, знакомства для секса без обязательств в Новосибирске. В 1979-м в Новосибирске началось строительство метрополитена. Открытый в 1985-м году, он на долгое время стал единственным в зауральской части России. Пуск метро позволил реформировать структуру Новосибирска – Новосибирск В то время как Ваша судьба возможно прогуливается по знакомым Вам улицам. Как много общего может быть у людей, живущих в одном городе. Быть рядом с человеком, которому дорого то, что дорого тебе – это самый верный путь к счастью. Знакомтесь в Новосибирске и разбейте лёд одиночества столпом искр двух любящих сердец, светом множества счастливых дней Вашего общего будущего. и должностные лица разного уровня считали, что вскоре переедут в другие места рабочие-строители, а вслед за ними потянутся и другие группы местного населения: торговцы, ремесленники, купцы, наемная рабочая сила и другие. Сомнения властей в будущем поселка привели к тому, что он и после завершения моста продолжал существовать, а официальный статус поселка в течение нескольких лет отсутствовал.

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